Everything is going according to plan

Welcome to the Zohranarchist Jurisdiction

Comrades, everything is going according to plan.

At midnight the buses will be free. Those of you assigned a bus number and route, be there at 12:00 am sharp where the bus driver will hand over the keys to you and disappear into the shadows. The rest of you will have a rallying point where the bus will pick you up. Don’t forget your balaclava, molotovs, and vegan snacks.

Head directly to Billionaires Row where maintenance workers, cooks, and servants will guide you to the penthouse. Grab all billionaires, family, and any hangers-on. They will be tried for crimes against humanity. Make sure to take Bill Ackman and Michael Bloomberg alive, but if a billionaire or two panics and falls off the balcony, these things happen.

Remove all valuables carefully and log them. It’s the people’s property now. Do not ransack the apartments as they will house the new immigrants who will pour in after NYC declares itself a free city state with open borders except for anyone who owns golf clubs.

At the same time, Black Lives Matter, Hamas, and the Trans Liberation Front will take control of all television, media, and telecom operations. Antifa, the Houthis, and the Sinaloa Cartel will seize police stations and ICE facilities. Anyone imprisoned will be freed and given the homes and bank accounts of the cops who will be given more socially meaningful work sweeping streets and scrubbing toilets rather than scrolling videos and eating doughnuts on the public dime.

All supermarkets and clothing stores will be free, and investment banks will be turned into childcare and elder care facilities.

By tomorrow, any cis male not wearing makeup and a dress will be sent to a gender re-education camp. Anyone failing to give the approved greeting of “From the River to the Sea” will immediately be sent to agricultural labor camps for 16-hour workdays and political rectification.

Conservatives will be outlawed. Liberals will have to apologize to every oppressed person they meet and give them reparations. All school curricula will now be radical cultural Marxism. Courts will be replaced with the People’s Revolutionary Sharia tribunals.

¡Hasta la victoria siempre!